Where does your focus lie?
At the end of the 2022, millions of people along with myself sat down at our desks and compiled a list of goals we desired to accomplish this year. My goals were focused on enhancing myself financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. After careful consideration on ways to accomplish each of my goals in every area, I soon discovered that the best course of action was to increase my knowledge base on each area by reading. Initially I planned to read for 30 minutes each night, but that soon evolved into reading one book per month for the next year. While I am proud of what I have accomplished thus far, my recent check in has made me realize that my goal needs to be more specific
While reading 12 books on each of the aforementioned areas would be an excellent accomplishment, reading 12 books focused on a single area would lead to mastery in any of these areas. There is a well known quote that says “Where focus goes, energy flows, and where energy flows, whatever you’re focusing on grows.” With this year approaching an end I strongly urge everyone who is on a personal growth journey to go back to your desks, pull out that list you vowed to complete at the beginning of 2023 and assess how close you are to reaching those goals. Whether you are on track or you have fallen behind, remember, you are exactly where you should be!
United we stand!
In a 2016 interview discussing “fake news” Denzel Washington stated, “ if you don't read the newspaper your are uninformed and if you do read it, then you are misinformed. Unfortunately the recent ruling of the Supreme Court is not “fake news.” It is very real and discouraging. While my faith in this country is dead, I am hopeful that all who face discrimination will be unified. May we rise out of the ashes and thrive! May we continue to live freely, boldly, and unapologetically! Let them have the battle. The war has only begun.
Put yourself first.
As we celebrate all of the women who serve or have served as mothers in various capacities I would like to offer a simple, yet empowering piece of advice. It is no secret that mothers have dedicated their lives, abandoned dreams, and devoted their time all in the name of “motherhood”. We have been taught that to be a “good mother” is synonymous with being second to our children. Let me apologize to the sensitive at heart and say “ Fuck dem kids!” 😂 Take time for yourself ! Stop sitting around waiting on your kids to appreciate you. Learn to appreciate yourself. Don't wait on them to gift you with a trip to the spa…treat yourself. Buy that new handbag ANY day you feel like shopping. Take yourself out to dinner. Whatever you desire to do on this mother's day pretend you are Nike and “just do it”. Grab your keys and head out the door and trust me if they have gifts for you they will be there when you return home. This way there will be no room for disappointment or feeling underwhelmed by the paper cards, ugly outfits, or unwanted cleaning cadgets. Nobody knows what you like more than you momma…now go get it and have the Mother's Day you deserve.
Happy Mother's day!
5 things that have helped me control anxiety
Stress in life is inevitable. Murphy's law states, “anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” I have learned that there is absolutely no way to avoid stress. It is simply a matter of adaptation. There are five things that have helped me to cope with stress. The first is planning ahead. I typically plan my day the night before. This enables me to prioritize tasks and it promotes efficient time management. Secondly, I delegate. I simply do not waste time doing things that I can train others to do. Next is being organized. A cluttered mind is often the reflection of a cluttered space. Fourth on the list is procrastination. It has taken me years to understand that procastination is a habit. Like all habits it can be broken. Studies have shown that once a person starts a task, there is a high probability of completing the task…so just START! The last, but certainly not the least significant thing that has helped me cope with stress is ATTITUDE. Above anything else I keep a positive attitude. It is ancient wisdom that we are and will become what we think about…so think positively.
Set yourself free
At what point in our lives as children do we break free of the bondage created by our parents? As a parent I realize that it is unrealistic to expect perfection from our parents, but as a fully formed adult I recognize that I am not a captive of poor choices made by my parents. I would rather be a fugitive. It has taken many years of therapy and ongoing personal reflection to understand that I am not “the savior” for my children or my parents. There is a time in which individuals have to take accountability and responsibility for their actions. I am simply a separate entity of their world…not “their world.”
The key to happiness
It all begins with an idea.
The key to happiness is freedom. Freedom to be yourself and live in your truth. It has been my experience that until you reach a certain level of freedom whether it be financial, spiritual, sexual, or emotional you will never truly be happy. I would like to take this time to urge all of my readers to ask yourself…What makes me happy or brings me joy?” If you find that you are struggling to answer this question my advice to you is sit in stillness and recall the one thing that you would be doing if you had no responsibilities and a limited amount of time. Now start there! Envision yourself living that life, working in that field, vacationing at that resort, shopping in that store. etc. Embrace the feeling that comes over you and ask yourself “How do I get there?”